im back :DDD
10.04.10 ♥ 1
every woman deserves to be loved.
photo by: Lauren Withrow
Nina Bui
EWRT 211
Flashback
All EWRT 211 students were shocked at the unexpected outcomes of the English as test placement us in EWRT 211. I was shocked after knowing I don’t have the ability to be in EWRT 1A. I realized the reason I am in this class after seeing the result of my first essay. As this class went on, I acquired new knowledge. EWRT 211 had taught me how to write a good essay by providing a strong thesis and having organized structure of the paragraph. It also taught me how to revise the essay. I chose my essay on gender as part of my portfolio to show an example of my progress. After learning different ways to write a good essay, I feel comfortable to move onto EWRT 1A.
EWRT 211 taught me how to write a good essay by having a strong thesis. A thesis is a road map for the paper; it tells the reader what to expect from the rest of the paper. I used to have weak thesis like “Why do Vietnamese American girls have to be skinny?” In this thesis, I wasn’t precise enough about my argument. After seeing an example of a strong thesis from my teacher, I realized that my essay thesis was too broad. For example, I used to have a thesis that covers topics that I can’t talk about because I have lack of information to illustrate my point. While gathering ideas for my thesis, I am able to group words that are related to each other. For example, stereotype, sex, and cultures” can be group together to “gender”. This technique helps me generate a strong thesis while it is easy to write about at the same time. My essay on gender has clear and strong right thesis. I feel comfortable to go to EWRT 1A after having EWRT 211.
EWRT 211 taught me to generate well organized paragraphs. Organized structure of the essay is necessary for readers to understand my ideas. Before having EWRT 211, my essay was jumble around so my readers got confused easily. My thesis and topic sentence clearly shows no connection. My teacher talked about this to the class. She provided clear examples which helped me move and change words in my topic to a clear better one. I learned that I should not limit myself when generating number of paragraphs. In high school, I was used to the 5 paragraph essays because of the requirement of the California High School Exit Exam. After my teacher showed me different samples of good essay she had grade before, I was able to write an essay that has fewer words but contain more details. For example, in my essay on Stealing Buddha’s Dinner, I have 5 paragraphs but contain more than 5 sentences in each paragraph. I try my best to expand my essay with more details and strong words. The essays that I chose (essay on gender) has good organization because the topics sentence match the thesis. For example, a part of my thesis is “Growing up in a Vietnamese traditional family is like being the eldest with the responsibility to teach and be the role model.” And my topic sentence is “Because I am the eldest daughter, my role is to be a perfect example for my younger sister and my family, and for a Vietnamese woman that means being skinny.” I am proud of my improvement that it demonstrated here. I believe that I would be able to do well in English EWRT 1A with my current writing skill.
Improving my essay is much easier than ever after learning ways to revise it in EWRT 211. Learning simple grammar rules in EWRT 211 class and with the help in EWRT 212 handbook was useful tool that helped me on my writing skills. It was my guide for writing a free grammar error paragraph. I learned how to fix run- on sentence by revise using the acronym the FANBOYS (for, and, nor, but, or yet, and so). I used to read through my essay without seeing any errors, but I still got errors after my teacher checks it. My teacher told me to re-read the essay over and over before turn it in. She told me to read each sentence slowly to myself more than one time. I realized this technique is useful because it helped me to spot errors. The reason that I couldn’t reorganized any errors when reading because I read it too fast.
Having EWRT 211 this quarter is worth considering I will be ready for EWRT1A. My first essay compare to the following essay (essay 2, and 3) improves little by little. My essay on gender is a good example for the purpose of this reflective essay. Although I learned lots of things in the class, I still need to write an even better paper in EWRT 1A. I need to write essays faster. In fact, each outside class essay in this class took me at least 3 to 4 hours to finish the draft. I assumes that in EWRT 1A I will be used to write essay faster. But I am still eager to improve. I hope that in EWRT 1A I will notice grammar errors faster while typing my essay using my knowledge from both EWRT 211 and EWRT 212.
Nina Bui
EWRT211
I am Fat, So What?
Why do Vietnamese American girls have to be skinny? I was born in Vietnam, but raised here in America. As the oldest daughter in the family, every footstep and movement from me was passed through my grandparent’s judgment. Growing up in a Vietnamese traditional family is like being the eldest with the responsibility to teach and be the role model. I am not only a role model for my younger sister, but also for my younger uncle too. I have to accept this honor and promise to continue the traditions in the future, but why me? My grandparents are 100 % Vietnamese traditions. For them, women are created to serve men and taken care of the family, but a woman who is fat will not be able to get married or in other words no man will marry a fat woman.
Because I am the eldest daughter, my role is to be a perfect example for my younger sister and my family, and for a Vietnamese woman that means being skinny. “Nina, don’t eat too much!” “Nina, see what people said, why you are too fat!” “Nina, go on a diet please!” These are the words I hear every day. Sometimes I want to argue back at my grandparents, and tell them that my younger uncle weights more than me. Why don’t they complain about him? Why always me? But I have no doubt to fight back. When I gain weight, my grandparents compare me to my younger sister; sometimes I want to yell back at them. “I’m fat so what?” “I stay single and adopt kids,” I don’t want to get marry anyway. And when my uncle gains weight I told them, but they just yelled at me. “He’s a guy,” said my grandma. I find this unfair. Why can men be fat but women can’t. My younger uncle isn’t as successful in school as I am. But grades don’t matter; for my grandparents the outside look is more important.
I feel so unfair for women in other word I feel unfair for Asian girls like me. I am fat but I have goals, I have a big dream. My outside is not beautiful, but I know my inside is more beautiful than my younger uncle. I respect the tradition of my grandparents, but their judgment is wrong. Last summer I drop from a weight of 200 pounds to 154 pounds. I felt very proud to myself because I work very hard to lose all of those weights but for my grandparents that is not enough. They want me to lose more than that, like around 100 pound. Now is 2010, men and women are treated equally. I am fat so what, just because I ‘m Vietnamese doesn’t mean I have to be skinny. Each human are born to be in different shapes. I respect the traditions but now I am an America. I have my own freedom to choose whoever or whatever works out for me.
Because I am Vietnamese American, the pressures are not only to focus on my studies, but also on my body type. What side should I listen to? Should I stick with my plan, ignore whatever my grandparents say to me or I should start believing that all girls have to be skinny to find a husband? Living in America, I know that this is a freedom country, each person have their own choices. And I know that someday, I will prove to my grandparents that they are wrong.
In the past, I felt the pressure. But now, I am a Vietnamese American young adult proud to prove to my family that no matter what shape I am in. I am still me. There will be someone special out there in the world who will love the way I am and not the way I look. And just because I am a girl that doesn’t mean I have to be skinny.
-Can’t wait to see my younger sister. finally , after 18 years searched for her. she finally return back home. fuck those kidnapper.. 3 more weeks please come fast… ahaha
